I have a confession to make.
I hate Facebook. Every day, I
consider deactivating my account. So far
I have resisted, but it is so tempting.
There are only a couple reasons I do not disconnect. One is that most of my family uses this as a
contacting and planning platform. If I
want to know about picnics, events, occasions, etc., I feel the need to stay
connected. Also, I use it as a backup
messenger for chatting with my friends when AIM stops working, which is unfortunately
happening more and more frequently. Even
with these two uses though, I am considering just pulling the plug and finding other
ways to keep in contact (like texting or *gasp* actually talking to people).
There are three major reasons that I want to pull away from
Facebook. The first of these is that it
is one of my biggest time-wasters. I have almost
two hundred people on my friends list, and together they fill my newsfeed with
enough stuff to take up hours of my time.
While I have very little against any specific type of post, when
multiplied by hundreds they all become annoying and overwhelming. There are too many pictures of cute kids to
view, too many announcements to acknowledge, too many quizzes to take, too many
political debates to consider, and too many memes to find amusing. Sometimes it is nice to know what is
happening with the various people I know (and I do actually know on some level 99.9%
of my friends list), but the truth is most of the posts have little impact on
my day-to-day life. I have tried
unfollowing almost everyone, leaving only family and close friends, but it
still provides enough newsfeed activity to eat away all my time. Plus, Facebook advertising just keeps getting
more prominent the longer it exists.
The second reason I dislike Facebook is that it makes me
feel left out of things and disgruntled.
There are two ways this manifests itself. For one, people I know have events or do
things together, and my first thought is why was I not invited. It does not matter how much or little I hang
out with the people involved, where they are located, or whether I have even
expressed interest in whatever it is.
Logically, I know that my friends and family do things without me all
the time, and that this is a perfectly reasonable thing to do. I still cannot help feeling slighted when I
see pictures or comments of the fun though.
The other way this affects me is envy over personal
accomplishments. People of course
highlight their achievements, promotions, awards, special gifts, awesome
vacations, etc. This leaves me with a
feeling that nothing good ever happens to me.
Again, my rational brain knows that people post more of the good than
the bad/mundane. Also, this is a
compilation of good across many people, not one person who has an
extraordinary life. Yet, I cannot help
feeling like life passes me by as I trudge through another day at work
while everyone else is enjoying it.
The final reason I want to quit Facebook is that it fosters
an unhealthy attachment to people who are not that relevant to my life. I find myself looking for updates on
situations or digging for more information on people when I should not be that
involved. For example, I have one of my
high school crushes on my friends list. I saw him about six years ago at my high
school reunion, and since then I have found myself hyper-aware of his Facebook
activity. He was extremely nice to me at
the reunion, but he never made any attempt to contact me afterward. Given that I live six hours away and have
married someone else (reunion was prior to my meeting my now husband), I think
it unlikely there will be any relationship established in the future. Yet, I am entirely too concerned with what he is
doing and even more so when it is with his new girlfriend. Another example is a woman, also known from
high school, who lives reasonably close and who shares a lot of similar
interests to me. I watch her posts
feeling like we are close personal friends, but truthfully we are not. Since she does live fairly close, I have
attempted to invite her to a few things, but she always turns me down. Clearly, the distance is still too far for
her, or she is just not interested in being more friendly. And yet, when I see her Facebook
contributions all I can think is why are we not better friends and end up
stalking/liking all her posts.
What about you? Can
you relate to any of these concerns? Do
you have any suggestions on how to make it better? Should I just deactivate my account? I really think it might be time for me to
pull the plug on it. It will free up
time for other things (blogs, reading, writing, cleaning, talking to people in
real life). Plus, I think it will make
me happier in the long run to focus on doing things myself, not watching what
other people are doing.
See you next week!
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