When did it become acceptable to be a mean girl (or mean
guy)? I want to live my life thinking
that society as a whole is basically good.
While I know there are some bullies out there and even some down-right
evil people, it comforts me to know these are a tiny minority. Lately though, I feel like I am surrounded by
hate and intolerance everywhere I turn.
The most obvious version of this is the aftermath of the
election. Although I have been vocal
about the need to go vote, I have tried to stay mostly quiet on my actual
choices in the election because I think it is a personal decision that needs to
be based on your own values and priorities.
When it comes to my family and friends, I know people who voted for
Hillary, Trump, and Johnson. Because I
only voted for one person, this means I disagreed with a portion of my personal
social network. In the past few days, I have watched my Facebook page explode
into a frenzy of hatred for those who voted opposite each other. Most of the hatred on my wall is coming from
those who voted with Hillary (I assume because it was the losing side). Instead of taking a step back to figure out
why so many people chose Trump, it has become a shouting match that everyone
who voted for him is racist, homephobic, xenophobic, sexist, (insert whatever
insult you feel appropriate here) prick.
Based on those I personally know who voted for him, I would not call a
single one of them any of these things.
They do not like his “locker room” talk, and they do not agree with
blanket statements like “all Muslims should be banned from the U.S.”. Instead they were thinking in terms of future
policy that might be enacted. They want
to repeal Obamacare, or at the very least not expand it. They want to inforce current immigration
laws. They do not want greater gun
control. They want increased action
against terrorist threats. They want tax
reform with lower rates and simplification for everyone. People need to start recognizing there is a
difference of opinion in regulation that has nothing to do with the cultural
labels people are throwing around. Stop
the personal attacks, start the conversations about what happened. (Mike Rowe has a pretty good response mentioned in this article here http://tribunist.com/news/mike-rowe-finally-weighs-in-on-trumps-victory-hillarys-supporters-wont-like-this/?utm_source=LRD).
My overall point of just how mean people have become does
not begin and end with this election cycle.
When I originally started thinking about this idea for a blog, I was
thinking about comment sections on the internet. Whether we are talking about online news networks,
professional bloggers, or amateur Youtube content creators, their comment
sections are all full of mean people.
There is this inability for people to behave in a civilized manner
online. I have stopped reading the
comment sections of articles because it tends to devolve into name-calling
rants that offer no alternative information to actually consider. People have no concept of the ideas to agree
to disagree or to disagree and educate. The
point is to persuade people, not make them so defensive they will not listen to
anyone else. What really bothers me
though is the content on the bottom of Youtube bloggers’ pages. Whether these people are professional who
have built up a following of millions or a teenager who has less than 100, they
have the right to put their opinions out there about whatever it is they want
to discuss without being attacked by people who disagree. Often I see these mean things explained away
with a flippant “but I am just trying to offer constructive criticism”. There is a big difference between giving an
alternative point of view, offering constructive criticism, and being
mean. It is all about presentation. Even if you want to criticize, it needs to be
done in a manner that respects that other person’s right to have their own
opinion.
Here is a little lesson I have put together on how to
disagree with someone and still be respectful.
These are all based on things I have seen on beauty Youtube channels,
although none is a specific word for word portrayal of any particular comment.
Example 1:
Respectful Disagreement:
I do not think the white highlighter suits your skin tone. The gold one is prettier on you.
Being Mean: That
white highlighter is so ugly on you. You
are such an ugly bitch. Why would anyone watch you.
Example 2:
Constructive Criticism:
I think it would be helpful if you did some full length shots when you
show us the clothes you bought in the haul.
Being Mean: You need
to do full length shots on your haul items.
God how did you ever become a Youtube star. You're a f*cking retard.
Example 3:
Polite Request: Can
you do more drugstore makeup tutorials please?
Being Mean: You never
use drug store makeup anymore. You're a
materialistic whore. You should go slit
your wrists right now.
In conclusion, please be nice. I am not saying that you should never
disagree with someone online. If you
want to comment though, keep the tone respectful and include something that
furthers the discussion. Remember that
everyone has their own story that colors their worldview, and just because they
ended up in a different place than you does not mean they automatically are a
bad person. If you simply cannot be
nice, then just do not say anything and look for news/entertainment somewhere
else. The web is full of content, surely you can find something that better suits your tastes.
See you next week!
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