In The Tradition

There is a tradition that some people do each Christmas called The Christmas Letter.  It is a letter that is included in the Christmas cards sent out to friends and family.  It gives a brief update on the family and narrates some of the events of the past year.  While I do send the Christmas cards, I have never included a letter in it.  However, I used to have a blog on MySpace and as part of it, I wrote an annual Week After New Year’s Letter.  I would include a rundown of important issues and events for my past year, along with a list a goals for the upcoming year.  I wanted to start something similar in this new blog.  Instead of trying to cover everything, I picked five things from the past year that stand out in my mind and one thing for the upcoming year that I am excited to start.

Five 2015 Highlights

Graduation:  In May, I walked in the graduation ceremony for the MBA program at Longwood University.  I actually finished the program in the summer of 2014 and received my diploma that fall.  However, Longwood only does commencement once a year, so my class did not walk until May of 2015.  Six of the nine graduates in my cohort came back to participate in the ceremony.  I had the highest GPA in the program, so I was honored to carry the banner for the School of Business and Economics in the processional.  After the ceremony, there was a small reception on the university lawn where I was able visit with my friends and professors from the program one last time.  It was great to have one last get together before we all go our separate ways in life.  I have my doubts about whether I will see anyone again, but I enjoyed their company while I was in the program.

Blog:  Also in May, I started this blog.  I have already written blogs about my purpose for writing one (see Welcome to My Blog posted 5/6/2015) and a follow up on how it was coming along (see Six-Month Check-In posted 11/4/2015), so I do not want to spend too much focus on it here.  Writing is something that I want to make a bigger part of my life though, so I am really happy that I started the blog project and I have hopes that it will improve over the coming year.

Work:  This past year has been volatile when it comes to work.  We have reorganized the department, changing the overall structure of which director is over which tasks.  We have lost two managers and one senior accountant that have made the reorganization that much harder.  In addition, there has been a major software upgrade started and a year-end business acquisition that have been adding more confusion and work.  I have only been in my supervisor position for a little over a year, so I have had to take all the changes at the same time I have been trying to learn my new responsibilities.  Much of the year has been very uncomfortable for me.  It is a lot of new things to incorporate in my workday without much guidance from my boss who is also overwhelmed with new projects.  Despite the rather rocky year, I actually feel better about my job at the end of the year than I did at the beginning.  I have managed to delegate enough things to my staff that I do not feel quite so overwhelmed by the sheer volume of tasks.  Also, I have received a confidence boost from a good performance review and some recent compliments I have received from the controller.

Trips:  This has not been my most exciting year for travel and entertainment, but I did manage to squeeze in a few things over the year.  The big vacation of the year was the trip to Seattle in August.  We were there a week, visiting with my husband’s cousins and seeing all the major tourist attractions.  I also took a couple smaller trips to see family and friends.  I went home to PA for my sister’s birthday in June and for Christmas.  I went to my friend’s house in late September for a picnic that I enjoy every year.  I visited with another friend in Maryland a couple of times, seeing her new house and exploring downtown Frederick.  The same friend and I also met once in Leesburg, VA where we enjoyed a small festival as well as sampled Pittsburgh Rick’s (an awesome restaurant that makes sandwiches like the Pittsburgh icon Primanti Brothers).  Finally, I made several trips into DC this year, almost all to see ballets at the Kennedy Center.

Kitties:  I finally adopted some kitty cats.  I have wanted to have cats for a while now, but kept putting it off.  I wanted to wait until we bought our own place, and then I wanted to wait until we were more settled into the new house.  Over the summer, we had a short visit from my in-laws’ cat while they were moving.  Drifter was not the friendliest cat, but it increased my desire to have one of my own.  In October, we took the plunge, and the cats have been with us now for almost three months.  They are perfect.  They mostly get along with each other, and everyone in the house.  They mostly stay out of trouble, only occasionally getting into food that they should not be eating.  They enjoy some cuddle time with me, but I do not find them too clingy.  And most importantly, they are perfectly litter-trained and rarely throw up.  I just hope they continue to be the perfect cats.

One Upcoming 2016 Event

Front Room:  This is part goal, part exciting project.  We have never put together the front room, despite moving here almost two years ago.  All our living room furniture went into the finished basement along with all the electronics.  The front room has just become a harbor for all the junk in the house.  There are boxes of stuff that need to be sorted and emptied.  My desk has been moved into a corner where I do use it, but it has never been properly organized and has also accumulated too much junk.  The front room just has never been my priority, as I wanted to get the kitchen organized (it mostly is) and the furnace replaced (it is) first.  Now, I am finally ready to focus on the front room.  It needs to be cleared, painted, furnished, and decorated.  Thus, my goal for this year is to make the front room a livable place in which I would be proud to entertain guests.

There you have it, my first Annual Letter.  I hope 2015 was a good year, and I hope 2016 is even better for all of you.

See you next week!

Christmas Movies 2015

One of the things I do each December is watch Christmas movies to get into the holiday spirit.  I try to watch a variety of films, old and new, comedy and drama, blockbuster and made-for-TV.   This year I must have been busier than usual, because here we are almost at Christmas and I have only watched five movies.  Here are mini reviews on the ones I did watch, ranking them from lease favorite to favorite.  (Caution:  Although I tried not to give too many details, there may be some spoilers below.)

A Christmas Eve Miracle (2015)

     Synopsis:  Sharron, a stressed out mother, wishes that she had not had children young so she and her husband could have been more successful in their careers and could have traveled the world first.  On a family trip over Christmas break, Santa did his magic and the couple’s children suddenly belong to two other families in the resort.  The parents have become high powered professionals consumed with their careers, trips, and expensive gifts.  Sharron soon realizes that this is not all that she hoped and prefers to experience the Christmas season with her children again.

     Review:  This was an absolutely dreadful movie.  I am really easy to please when it comes to family entertainment.  I expected predictable and corny.  What I got was stupid and painful.  The movie could have been written by my seven year old stepson and had more intelligent dialog.  The characters mostly just announced random lines that did not flow very well as conversation.  Additionally, there were all these side plots that appeared and then disappeared at random.  The acting was wooden, but seriously I doubt anybody could have done well with this script.  I almost turned it off, and when it was over I wish I had.

Christmas Crush (2012)

     Synopsis:  Georgia goes home for Christmas disillusioned with her life.  She has no friends, no boyfriend, a rocky relationship with her father, and a career that is not what she intended.  When she arrives home, she finds out that her school is throwing a winter wonderland reunion over the holiday season.  She intends to go so she can win back her “perfect” high school boyfriend, wow everyone with a faked career in fashion design, and dazzle the town with her solo in the old glee club performance.  She is so busy trying to recreate her old life, she almost misses the fact that Ben, one of her best friends from school, has secretly been in love with her the whole time.

     Review:  This is very predictable and corny, but it was perfect for what I wanted to do the night I watched it.  If you just want to sit back, laugh, and not think too hard, then this movie is for you.  It is not a tight story and has a number of plot holes in the action.  The characters often act in peculiar and unrealistic ways.  However, there are many laugh-out-loud scenes and touching moments between friends.  Also, I can identify with the desire to look through rose-colored glasses at those old high school days when everything seemed so much simpler.  Finally, Ben as played by Jonathan Bennett is very cute and drool-worthy throughout.

Love Actually (2003)

     Synopsis:  This is a collection of nine love stories woven together in the weeks leading up to Christmas.  1) Sarah, burdened with the care of her mentally-challenged brother Michael, has been in love with Karl from work for years.  2) Mark’s friend Peter marries Juliet.  While he has always shown disdain for her, she discovers that he has been secretly in love with her the whole time.  3) Harry and Karen have been married for decades.  Harry is suddenly being tempted by the young Mia in his office who is making her desire for him obvious.  4) Jamie goes to France to write a novel.  He develops feelings for his Portuguese maid Aurelia despite the fact that neither speaks the other’s language.  5) Daniel’s wife has just died, leaving him the sole guardian for his young stepson Sam.  While they both grieve for their lost loved one, Sam develops his first love for Joanna, a girl in his class.  6) Colin desperately wants to get laid, and decides that going to America is the best way to do this.  7) David has taken on the position of Prime Minister.  Natalie has been assigned to be his assistant, but David finds her too distracting to do his job properly.  8) John and Judy develop a friendship while doing scene setups for a pornographic film.  9) Billy Mack is an aging rocker who has been forced into doing a Christmas cover of his old hit song by his manager Joe.

     Review:  This movie is not the easiest film to watch.  Some of the pieces seem very fragmented and hard to follow.  Plus, you have to have a good grasp on British humor to like the plotlines.  However, I found it pleasant and enjoyable.  The film has a very respectable cast (Colin Firth, Hugh Grant, Emma Thompson, Laura Linney, among others) which shows in the quality of the performances.  The two things I like most about the film are that the situations are gritty and realistic, and that not every story is an actual love story.  Family and friendships are well represented throughout the film.  My personal favorite story lines are Daniel, Sam, and Joanna, and David and Natalie.  They have reasonably happy endings without being too syrupy sweet.

The Holiday (2006)

     Synopsis:  Iris and Amanda have had enough of love at Christmastime.  Amanda has called it quits with her boyfriend, and Iris has just found out her not-so-ex-boyfriend is marrying the other girl.  They decide to switch houses for the two weeks over Christmas.  Amanda heads to England, where she meets Iris’ brother Graham and falls in love.  The story is slightly complicated by his situation of widower with two small children.  Iris lands in LA to enjoy warm weather with some new friends.  She quickly meets Arthur, an aging movie writer who needs some cheering around the holiday season and a gentle push to accept his lifetime achievement award.  She also strikes up a friendship with Miles, who is going through a rough relationship patch of his own.  The feelings grow stronger as the two of them help each other overcome their hurts.

     Review:  I love this movie.  It has been one of my favorite Christmas movies since it came out, and I watch it almost every year.  The cast is fantastic with the five main characters played by Kate Winslet, Cameron Diaz, Jude Law, Jack Black, and Eli Wallach.  I love that one story line is a traditional love story, while the other focuses more on friendships during the bulk of the film.  I feel the characters are interesting and show genuine growth by the end of the film.  It offers hope to those of us who feel we are stuck in a rut (love, life, or otherwise).  Maybe everyone should take an unexpected, far away vacation at least once in their life to get a little perspective.

Arthur Christmas (2011)

     Synopsis:   The current Santa (Santa the 20^th) uses a whole host of updated techniques to ensure that every child receives a present on Christmas.  Santa flies a sleek super-fast ship complete with sky-copying camouflage to keep it from being detected.  A contingent of elves help to put all the presents under the tree in every house in record time.  Steve, Santas’s eldest son and heir apparent, manages everything from the control center back in the North Pole, with tracking equipment and schedules arranged to cover the tiniest details.  But what happens when one bike does not get delivered to a little girl in England who desperately wants to believe that Santa Clause is real?  Santa’s younger son Arthur sets out with the help of Grandsanta, the old traditional sleigh, eight reindeer, and some magic Christmas dust on an adventure to make sure this little girl’s Christmas wish comes true.

     Review:  This is an animated feature perfect for the whole family that is edging into number one this year due to the sheer Christmas joy of watching it.  Although the story of saving Christmas is a repeat, I really enjoyed all the behind the scenes updates that answer that burning question of just how does Santa deliver all those presents to all those children in just one night.  I loved the fact that Arthur is basically a screw-up that everyone has written off, and yet with a little belief in himself he pulled off a Christmas miracle that everyone said could not be done.  This was loads of fun, beautiful animation, and of course plenty of happy endings to go around.  In fact, the ending montage gave an update on every character which ended “And they were happy”.

I hope you all were able to enjoy some wonderful Christmas movies this year.  Have a happy holiday season, however you may celebrate it.  See you next week!

Well Wishes for CP

It is never a good thing when a child becomes sick, really sick.  It is so much worse when it happens at the holidays.  Unfortunately, this has recently occurred in my family.  My cousin CP has been diagnosed with cancer.  This blog is dedicated to him as well as his parents and his brother.

CP is a few months shy of two years old.  He lives with his Dad (my uncle), his Mom, and his older brother.  From the moment he was born, he was sick.  At first, he was just not a very energetic boy, kept getting respiratory infections, and was not hitting the right developmental goals for his age.  Finally, they diagnosed him with Neurofibromatosis type 1 (NF1).  This condition causes (usually) benign tumors to grow on the nervous system (if you want to learn more about it, here is a link to the Wikipedia page https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurofibromatosis_type_I).   CP developed tumors on his optic nerves, which caused almost complete blindness.  They have treated him over the past year with a few different chemotherapy drugs, which has further inhibited his growth as well as put stress on his circulatory system.

Last week, CP went to Children’s Hospital to get a battery of tests run to see how his tumors were responding to the treatments.  At first, it was all good news.  His optic gliomas seemed to be stabilized.  His blood pressure was down and his EKG was good.  Then, the final MRI was done, and the bad news began.  He had too much fluid and swelling in the brain.  He also had a new tumor growing on his thalamus.  They performed surgery to insert a shunt to drain the fluid and to do a biopsy of the tumor tissue.  Then, the worst news yet came, the tumor was malignant.  He has a Fibrillary Astrocytoma, WHO Grade II (if you want to learn more about it, here is the link to the Wikipedia page https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fibrillary_astrocytoma).  Unfortunately, the treatment options are limited at this point.  His age and the location of the tumor mean surgery and radiation are not options.  The chemotherapy drugs that normally would be used are the same ones that he was already taking to treat the NF1.  The doctors are attempting to get him qualified for a clinical trial on a new chemotherapy drug that has some promise.  They are also working to reduce the fluid buildup and swelling to keep CP as stable as possible while they try to come up with alternative methods of treating the cancer.

Right now, there is not much that friends and family can do.  CP is already receiving the best care he can from the doctors as Children’s Hospital.  The Ronald McDonald House charity is helping the family with living arrangements as they stay there to get CP’s treatment started.  My aunt’s family is caring for CP’s older brother so his parents can focus their attention on CP.  My grandmother and another aunt just went out to offer what support they can as well.  The rest of the family remains very far away geographically, but we are trying to keep them close in our hearts.  I am not much of a praying woman, but my thoughts and hopes are with them this Christmas.  I so very much hope that the doctors can figure out a plan to treat the cancer and clear it from CP’s brain.  This holiday I hope my family can still find the energy to enjoy Christmas with their children and each other despite the circumstances.  Finally, I hope that someday I get the chance to once again hug CP, see his beautiful smile, and enjoy the energy of a little boy who is feeling better.

I encourage you all to hold your family close and treasure every precious moment with them.

See you next week!

A Snapshot in Time

I am considering whether to continue our family portrait tradition next Christmas.  The holiday portrait is something my parents did with my sister and me throughout my childhood.  It was something I was excited to continue once I had my own family.  For the past four years, my husband, stepson, and I have gotten our portraits taken at JC Penney for Christmas.   None of the years has been a particularly good experience, and I am seriously considering discontinuing the practice next year.

Personally, I like having a family photo done every year.  Although I know that it easy to take and print personal photos now with digital cameras and photo-editing websites, I still like having the professional photos done.  I find it hard to get very many quality photos of our family throughout the year.  My stepson is only here part of the time, so we start with limited opportunities to capture the perfect moment.  We do not do many things together as a family (I wish we did, but we do not), so most of the photos I do take are just snapshots around the house.  I am not a very talented photographer, so I seldom take pictures that I actually like enough to share with other people.  Plus, I am almost never in the photos, so that would not work for a holiday family portrait to include in my Christmas cards.  The professional portrait session guarantees I have some quality photos with me actually in them.  I want these photos to keep as a reminder of our family growing throughout the years and to share with my family who we do not see very often.

However, the photo session has become a chore that no one likes to endure.  My stepson is not a very cooperative participant in the process.  Of the four years that we have been doing this, he has only behaved during the photo session once.  The first year he pouted and cried during it, leaving us with only one or two photos that were usable.  The second year he loved the attention and did a great job posing and smiling for us.  We had many cute options to pick for our family photo.  The third year he would not take it seriously, moving around and making funny faces during the photos.  Again, we had a limited selection of usable prints, but the shenanigans did actually produce a couple adorable pictures even if they were not perfectly posed.  This past year was worse than the first year.  He did not want to be there, and we did not end up with a single picture where he did not look angry.  We finally chose the one where my husband and I looked best despite his grumpy presence in it.

In addition to being really upset with his son, my husband was really annoyed with JC Penney over the process.  He was very impatient about the wait during our session.  Over the years, we average about an hour and half from check-in to leaving.  After letting the front desk know you are there, it is usually about a fifteen to twenty minute wait until you go back into the studio.  Then, the actual photo session takes another fifteen or so minutes.  You wait about a half hour until they are ready for you to look at the photos.  Then, we normally take around twenty minutes to look through the photos, make our selection, and order our prints.  I do not feel like the process is too cumbersome, especially considering it is only once a year.  I also recognize that we are there during the holiday season when they are booked full.  Plus, I think much of the delay comes from other customers taking their time with the photo selection and order process.  My husband however thinks it is badly organized and that they are wasting our time by making us wait for so long throughout.

My husband has suggested that we consider using a different studio to take the photos next year, but I am not sure I want to take them at all.  The reason I chose JC Penney in the first place was due to pricing.  We are only buying a couple of traditional portrait sheets each year (3 8x10, 2 5x7, 1 3.5x5, 1 wallets), and JC Penney’s has the cheapest sitting fee and least expensive single prints.  The deal becomes even better if you sign up for the two year membership, which gets you one free upgrade on a photo and essentially makes the sitting fee free for one of the two years.  Plus, we get coupons which makes the traditional photo sheets even less expensive.  We probably would get better quality photos and perhaps a less stressful wait if we went to a higher tier photographer, but we would definitely pay more.  When you add in the difficulties of getting my stepson to cooperate, I just do not think it would be worth the extra money.  Why do I want to pay more for pictures if my family is still going to look miserable in them?

What do you think?  Should I continue to get the cheap JC Penney photos?  Should I pay more for a private studio?  Should I just learn to take better pictures and do them myself through Shutterfly (or the equivalent)?  Should I just forget about getting photos of us each year completely?

At least I look great in this year’s photo.  See you next week!

So Here Is How You Did – The Performance Review

So a few months ago, I wrote about completing my self-evaluation for work.  A couple of week ago, I received my completed performance review from my boss and went to the meeting to go over it all.  I know there was quite a space between that first post and this one.  I guess the company failed at the “within 90 days of anniversary” policy that they have.  My self-evaluation seemed to meet their approval.  The review of my past year went along the lines I was expecting.  The short-term goals that were given to me were mostly predictable.  The long-term career path they provided for me though took me by surprise, and not necessarily a pleasant one.

My self-evaluation seemed to satisfy my boss.  She had no comments to add to my list of tasks and responsibilities.  So apparently, I made no glaring omissions and I did not concern them with an over-extension of my authority in the company.  She had no real comments on my significant accomplishments, except to congratulate me on completing many of the goals that were set for me last year (both by myself and the company).  For the short-term and long-term goals, she just told me that I had set good ones for the company department.  Many of the things I included were very task-specific things that I want my team to complete over the next year or two.  I did not include much in the way of career-oriented/personal growth goals, and she included some of this in the set of objectives she gave me for the upcoming year.

The next section is a list of categories that help the supervisor evaluate the employee’s job performance according to the metrics that are important to the company.  I receive a “grade” in each category and some comments to justify the rating (good or bad).  Then all the categories are averaged together, and I receive an overall “grade” for my year.  This year I received a 2.08 (scale is 1 best to 5 worst), which means I frequently exceed expectations.  This is great considering that I have been in the position for less than a year, and I feel very unconfident in some of the aspects of my job.  My strongest categories according to my boss are corporate policies/procedures, initiative, quality improvement, and company identification (basically I follow the rules well).  My lowest scores were in internal controls, knowledge, problem-solving/judgement/decision-making, planning/organization, and communication skills, which mostly contained comments related back to me being new in the position and still learning.  She identified a strength in managing subordinates, and a weakness in communicating with superiors.

The final written section is a list of goals she would like me to focus on in the next performance period.  Nothing on here was unexpected, and only one thing concerned me.  I am to take over greater management responsibility for my staff.  Previously, I was managing their daily tasks, but not performing most of the official employee management tasks (on paper they all reported to my manager instead of me).  Now they all report to me officially, and I will be responsible for many of the supervisor tasks such as performance reviews.  She also gave me a list of tasks she would like me to transition from her to me, most of which I already had identified as something I should learn. There was one project in which I need to put some serious effort learning how to manage.  This is something that used to be done by our department but it was taken away due to a material weakness identified by the auditors.  It was not my fault it was taken away in the first place, but it is now my responsibility to spend time with the man who took it over and learn enough that this can be transferred back to our team.  Finally, she indicated I would probably gain some not-yet-identified tasks stemming from the accounting department reorganization which began a few months ago.  The final goal is to take some seminars to gain greater strength in communicating with my superiors.  This is the only goal that makes me really nervous, partly because I do not like communicating with my superiors and partly because it is part of the not-so-pleasant surprise I mentioned earlier.

It is not written anywhere in my official performance evaluation, but in the meeting my boss brought up my long-term career trajectory with the company.  My boss will probably retire in the next 5-10 years, and they are starting to plan for her successor.  They have apparently identified me as one of the potential candidates for her replacement.  I was actually surprised they would see me in that position, especially in that time frame.  I shocked her by not displaying great enthusiasm for the idea and by voicing hesitation in seeing myself in that position.  The idea bothers me for a few reasons.  One, her position does not seem very fun.  She goes to a lot of meetings, she does a lot of research, she acts as a go-between various departments, she makes organizational calls, etc.  I like burying myself in the details and playing with the spreadsheets, not really orchestrating the big picture.  Two, personality-wise I think I am a bad fit for upper-management.  I am rather passive and non-confrontational.  I think I would have a hard time being a voice for the accounting department up against the executive team and other departments.  Third, I do not think they actually want me in that position either, but are just trying to figure out what to do since the girl they were grooming to fill it left the company.  They need to prep somebody to fill that position (or at least do some of the work).  Plus, I think they want me to feel like I have somewhere to grow so that I do not leave too.  At least for now they want me to think I am a potential candidate.  It does not change the fact that I just do not think I want it.

Bonus:  My department participated in a 360 degree performance review for all the managers.  I received my feedback from that review in a separate meeting from my official performance review.  I had a really low response rate (3 out of a potential 63 respondents), but overall I got a 1.15 (again 1 best, 5 worst).  Apparently, my co-workers want me to recognize/reward performance more, consider employee point of view when making decisions, and be more aware of employee developmental needs.

That is it.  My review is done for the year.  I can breathe for a few months before the process starts again.  For now, I will work on my short-term goals, I will think about what my real long-term goals are, and I will resist the efforts to groom me for a position that I do not want.

See you next week!

Happy Turkey Day

I am so glad to be on Thanksgiving break.  Today, I wanted to ponder the Thanksgiving holiday for a few minutes.  My Thanksgivings have changed a lot over the years.  It used to be a much bigger holiday for me, and now it mostly means a few days off work.

When I was younger, Thanksgiving was the equivalent of Christmas in our house.  It was a big deal that was surrounded by family traditions.  I grew up in Pennsylvania, which meant that I usually got an early dismissal on Wednesday and did not have to go back to school until the following Tuesday (Monday is that beloved Pennsylvania state holiday, first day of deer season).  Thursday began with my mom, my sister, and me, eating cinnamon rolls and watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade.  We would watch all the way until Santa made his appearance at the end.  Then, we usually spent the day making our contributions for Thanksgiving dinner and wrapping presents.  Later in the afternoon, we headed over to my grandparents on my father’s side.  In addition to my grandparents, there were two great-uncles and a cousin, all with significant others, and occasionally some extra invitees there as well.  We would all partake in the usual Thanksgiving feast:  turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, green beans, corn casserole, cranberry sauce, rolls, and more that varied from year to year.  After dinner, my grandparents exchanged presents with us.  My paternal grandparents did not celebrate Christmas, but still wanted to participate in some sort of gift exchange with their children and grandchildren.  So we did all the “Christmas” activities with them on Thanksgiving, and we had the regular Christmas with my mom’s side of the family.

Over the years, my Thanksgivings have become much less exciting.  It was a gradual change over time, not an abrupt stop to tradition.  My grandfather died when I was fourteen.  Grandma kept Thanksgiving going for a couple of years, but it was a much smaller meal.  Then, she stopped it completely, and we started to have Thanksgiving at my mom’s side of the family (big meal, no presents).  Grandma also decided that she was going to celebrate Christmas after all, so the present exchange was moved to Christmas time.  My paternal grandma now comes to my maternal grandma’s house for Christmas, so there is only one big celebration a year.  The biggest change to my holiday probably came when I moved out of Pennsylvania to Virginia though.  I have not gone home for Thanksgiving for a number of years.  It is too expensive and time-consuming to go up there more than a couple of times a year, and Thanksgiving is one of the holidays that got side-lined.  Sometimes I have been able to join some sort of Thanksgiving celebration in Virginia, and other years I have spent on my own.  The past couple of years, I have been with my husband and his family.  They usually have some kind of meal together, but it is a much smaller meal than those with which I grew up and never involve more than just his parents and siblings.  The day is spent much more around the football games on TV than anything else.

Although I have had some rather subdued Thanksgivings in the past decade, this year I am looking at one of my quietest.  My husband and I are not going anywhere.  We are not having anyone come over for the day.  We are not preparing any kind of Thanksgiving-style meal.  The plan is to just stay home, watch football (although that will likely be my husband more than me), and eat pizza.  We were invited to his uncle’s house to have dinner with his uncle, his uncle’s wife, and his parents, but he does not want to go.  I was willing to make a Thanksgiving meal for us here to enjoy, but he did not want to do that either.  I may still watch the Macy’s day parade if I can wrestle the TV away from him for a while.  However, it looks like this will just be a restful four day weekend for me, rather than much of a holiday.  In some ways that sounds kind of nice, but somehow I cannot help but feel we are missing out on something special.

Regardless of whether you are enjoying a quiet day on your own, having a big blowout with the family, or something in between, enjoy this year’s turkey day.

Happy Thanksgiving!

See you next week!

A World So Intolerant

I do not like to watch the news.  Sometimes it feels like nothing good ever happens any more.  We have one story of death and destruction after another dominating the headlines.  It makes me depressed to think about it for too long.  I prefer to tuck my head back into my shell so I can pretend that everything is well in the world.  This week though has had several rather horrific news stories push their way onto my radar, so I feel the need to poke out of my protective cover for a minute and put some thoughts down.

Why are we so intolerant of each other?  There are so many people on this planet.  I would like to think that most of us are generally good.  However, it is hard to ignore the evidence, both big and small, that tells me every day that we are not as nice as we seem.  It seems like we go out of our way to hurt anyone who is different from us, who does not believe the same things as us, who takes a different path in life from us.  It does not matter if we are talking about terrorist attacks like those in Beirut on November 12, 2015, or hate crimes like the attack on the Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston on June 17, 2015, or children driven to suicide because of bullying in the schools.  It is all horrible stuff that I do not want to see in my newsfeed.

The aftermath of these events is almost as bad.  People pick certain stories and run wild with them on social media, claiming support but not really understanding what happened or doing anything to make changes around them.  Political activists use the incidents to promote social policies that would have little effect on the root cause of the problem.  Groups organize to seek revenge against the original perpetrators and often expand to a hateful outcry against whole groups of people who only superficially resemble those responsible.  People point fingers at each other, but no one does anything to fix the problem.  Even if one or two people do actually step up to try to make an actual difference for the better, they are drowned out by the bullshit around them.

Why cannot we just learn to live with each other?  I certainly do not like everyone that I meet, that I work with, that I am related to, etc.  I doubt most of the people I dislike even know it though, because I do not advertise the fact.  I am not talking about letting other people hurt me in any way, but just stepping back when they come into disagreement with me.   Just because they have opposing political views from me, or believe a different religion than me, or are of a culture I do not like being around, does not mean they do not have the right to be who they are.  As long as they are not infringing on my right to be myself, then I have no reason to infringe on their right to be themselves.  I am definitely not perfect, but I do my best to stay out of other people’s personal freedoms.

I just want us all to stop being so intolerant of people who are different than us.  I understand I probably cannot have much impact on international terrorism, but I can certainly treat those around me with respect and understanding.  If we all start giving each other a little courtesy in our day to day interactions, and stop focusing on trying to change people who are different than us, then maybe we eventually can stop seeing so much hatred pour forth from the media.  Then, it will not be so depressing to hear the news.

See you next week!

Fall Favorites Tag

There has been a Fall Favorites Tag going around the Youtube community.  It brought back fond memories of my Myspace days (who remembers that?).  I used to get tagged in questionnaires all the time, and I loved filling them out in my blog.  I do not have a Youtube channel, but I still wanted to participate in the fun.  So here are my fall favorites.

Favorite Candle:  I have not been much of a candle burner in recent years.  It just never crosses my mind to light the ones I have.  I recently purchased two from Bath and Body Works though.  One of them counts as a fall scent, Feast - Maple Sugar Brittle.  I guess by default this becomes my fall favorite for this year.

Favorite Lip Product:  I tend toward more neutral lips in the fall since I am not very comfortable in the trendy bold colors.  They just do not seem appropriate in the workplace, and that is where I wear most of my makeup.  My favorite ones are Maybelline Warm Me Up and Revlon Pink Truffle.

Favorite Blush:  I do not own that many blushes, so I do not change them for the season.  Lately, I have been wearing Milani Romantic Rose or Benefit Dandelion.

Favorite Drink:  My favorite fall drink is definitely hot chocolate.  I love that it is finally cool enough to sip hot drinks while cozying up with a good book under the blankets.

Favorite Clothing Item:  I love wearing boots.  I have several pairs, all different heights and styles, so I am ready to go no matter what the occasion.

Favorite Fall Movie:  Since there are not really fall movies, I guess this means more Halloween movie.  As an adult, I actually avoid Halloween and scary movies.  As a child, I loved the movie The Canterville Ghost (the 1985 version with Richard Kiley as Sir Simon de Canterville).

Favorite Fall Show:  For seasonal specials, I pick the classic Peanut specials, It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown and A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving.  When I was a child, I also really liked the TV special Molly’s Pilgrim.

Favorite Thanksgiving Food:  Thanksgiving is a meal I definitely enjoy.  I want to eat it all in large quantities.  If I had to pick my favorites from it, I would choose sweet potato casserole and canned cranberry sauce.

Favorite Costume:  My favorite costume from when I was a child was Celia Hamilton from the Mandie mystery series.  My cousin went as Mandie.  I loved these books when I was younger.  I loved wearing the old dress and bonnet and pretending that I was going on an adventure.  As an adult, I have not dressed up in a number of years because I do not go to Halloween parties.  However, I intend to be a flapper if I ever get invited to one in the future.

I hope you had fun reading my fall favorites.  Tag, you are it.  Share your favorites with me in the comments.

See you next week!

It Has Been Six Months!

I have completed six full months of blog posts.  My first post went live on May 6, 2015.  Since then I have posted twenty-six articles to my site.  I thought it would be fitting to do an assessment of my project at this milestone.  I want to acknowledge what I have done so far, and to share what I want to do next.

Looking back at my initial post, I outlined three reasons for beginning this blog.  So how am I doing at fulfilling those goals?  The first reason I gave was to practice writing, to improve the amount of time I spent doing it and to improve my quality.  I definitely write more because I am forced to do it every week so I can post something.  I have not missed a week yet, although there have been a couple rather short blogs.  I have not been very successful in writing more outside of the blog though.  I have a couple pages written of a novel, but I just cannot seem to get the time and motivation lined up to work on it consistently.  As far as quality goes, I probably am not the best judge of my own work and I have received no outside feedback on anything posted.  However, I can say that there are blogs I like and blogs that I think were not very well done.

The second reason I gave was to use this space as a way to work through my life.  I do not think I have accomplished much in this aspect of the project.  Although some of my blogs border on introspective, more of them are observational about life happening around me.  There are two main reasons I have not followed through with more journal-like entries.  First, I am a little timid about putting too many personal details out there.  I am afraid of the consequences if people I know are not thrilled with some of the things I think.  The other reason is that I am avoiding answering the questions inside myself.  There are many things in my life that I need to examine and change if I am going to be happy, but I do not have the confidence to do so.  While I still leave my blog designated as a place to work through my issues, it might not be as often or as open as I originally envisioned.

The last reason was to entertain others.  Although I cannot know for sure, my guess is that I have not accomplished this goal at all.  My blog posts all have two to four views, and I am fairly certain these are Googlebots archiving the information.  I have no followers, no shares, no comments, no indication that anyone real has actually read anything I have written.  I have not told anyone I am writing a blog, and I have not marketed myself online in any way.  Therefore, I am relying on someone randomly stumbling upon the blog.  The chances of that happening are fairly slim, so I know that I currently have little chance of fulfilling this goal.  If I truly want some readers, then I am going to need the confidence to actually put myself out there and let people know that I have written something.

Where do I go from here?  For now, I think the important thing is to keep writing.  While I might not be well-read, I am a published writer and that is more than I used to be.  I want to try to do better about giving my blogs the time they deserve, so that I am truly proud of all of them.  Additionally, I want to focus on learning more about the Blogger site and what it can do.  I have done little to explore the available features and use them to make my blogs unique.  I also want to set up my Google+ profile, so that there is actually a real prolife attached to the name posted to my blogs.  Maybe, if I am feeling adventurous, I will even take the first steps in letting others know there is a blog out there that they can read.

Blog 27 is done.  Here is to another six months.  See you next week!

Sample Overload

I have become buried under an avalanche of unused samples.  Like everyone I know, I have succumbed to the phenomena of subscription sample boxes.  I have received eight different boxes so far, although I am not subscribed to one of those any more.  Today, I want to talk about the four beauty boxes I have experienced.  I am receiving samples faster than I can try, and I have become overwhelmed by all the products I have lying around.  The obvious solution is to cancel some subscription boxes, and I am going to keep only one going forward.

Beauty Box 5:  http://www.beautybox5.com/

-  $12 a month, discounts if prepaid for a quarter or year

-  Most common brand:  Hard Candy, Nanococo

-  Most common product:  Eyeshadow

-  Favorite product received:  Nanococo Lip Gloss in Call Me Babe

I received this one as a Christmas gift for four months.  Each box contained five products.  It was a mixture of drug store brands and unknown brands, though most seemed affordable.  There is a shop attached to the site where I assume I can buy the products I received in the box but I never looked into it.  I never got anything that I was really excited to try out.  Plus, most of the things would be cheap enough to buy at the store if I did want to try it.  I never bought a subscription myself once my gift ran out, and I do not plan to subscribe to it again in the future.

Walmart Beauty Box:  https://beautybox.walmart.com/

-  $5 a quarter

-  Most common brand:  Dove, Nivea, Jergens

-  Most common product:  Shampoo & Conditioner, Hand/Body Creams

-  Favorite product received:  Cover Girl Lip Gloss in Candilicious

I have been subscribed for one year, receiving four boxes, one for each season.  There are not a consistent number of samples in them, but usually a number of travel-sized products and one-use samples.  This box tended more toward skincare and toiletries than makeup.  All the products are available at Walmart and other drugstores.  There are no additional perks to the subscription.  I never was particularly excited about anything I received.  Again, I can pick these up affordably if I did want to try something.  I intend to cancel my subscription.  However, it definitely is the most affordable option if someone can only afford a very small splurge.

Ipsy:  https://www.ipsy.com/

-  $10 a month, discounts if prepaid a year

-  Most common brand:  Nyx

-  Most common product:  Eyeshadow

-  Favorite product received:  Pixi Eyeshadow Duo in Apricot Glow

This is my longest running subscription at nineteen months.  Each month I receive five products in a unique makeup bag.  The products lean more heavily to makeup, but there are skincare and haircare items included occasionally.  This does have a good mix of known and unknown brands, high-end and drugstore prices.  The products are usually full-size or deluxe sample sizes.  After receiving the bag, I can go review the products for points.  Then, those points can be used to “purchase” an extra item for the next month from the available products in the rewards section (usually three to eight items available at different redeeming values).  However, I have had trouble accumulating the amount of points needed to buy anything before they start expiring (one year from receiving), and even when I do get enough points there is nothing available that I even remotely want to get.  I did enjoy this subscription for a while, but I think it is time to give it a break.  I do not get that excited about my bags any more.  Plus how many makeup bags do I really need?

Birchbox:  https://www.birchbox.com/

-  $10 a month (+tax), discounts if prepaid for a year

-  Most common brand:  Marcelle, Harvey Prince

-  Most common product:  Moisturizer

-  Favorite product received:  LAQA & Co Lip Lube in Honeypot, Air Repair Moisturizer

I have had this subscription for a year.  Each month there are five products in a unique patterned cardboard box (some of the boxes I keep and some I throw away).  Each month, there is one item that I can select from a group of four or five if I want, and the rest are random choices by the company.  I would say I get more skincare than anything else, but there is always at least one makeup item and a random array of haircare, bath products, and perfumes over time.  The products are usually travel-size or deluxe samples.  Many of the brands are unknown to me, but most seem to be mid- to high-end price ranges.  All the products are available from the Birchbox store to purchase.  After receiving the box, I can earn points by reviewing the products.  The points accumulate and once I reach one hundred they can be traded for $10 off anything in the store.  Points are also earned with each purchase based on the amount spent.  This is the box I intend to keep.  Most of these products are too expensive for me to just try randomly, but I have received several products that I have really enjoyed.  I have already purchased one product based on a sample, and I have a few more on my wish list.

What about you?  Have you fallen victim to subscription fever?  Are you overwhelmed by product samples?  What are your favorite boxes?

See you next week!

New Kitties!

Only a few more days, and the quarter close should be over.

This weekend we welcomed two new members into our family.  We adopted two kitties though a friend of my husband.  The cats are a brother and sister duo, a year and a half old, and all black.  They did originally come with the names Blackie & Jackie, but we have renamed them to make them are own.  My husband dubbed the boy, Zelenka.  I am certain that my husband thinks of himself as McKay, and just wants the opportunity to blame Zelenka for things that go wrong around the house.  I decided to stick with the Stargate Atlantis theme, and named the girl Keller.

The new kitties are adapting fairly well to their new home.  We have limited the amount of rooms they can explore for now, just to make it easier for us to find them each day.  I have gotten the basic equipment needed:  food bowls, food, litter box, litter, pooper scooper, etc.  I still have a list of things that I need to buy yet:  cat scratcher, carrier, collars, ID tags, grooming kit, etc.  I have gotten into the routine of feeding them each morning when I get up and each evening when I get home from work.  I am a little worried that Zelenka is eating Keller’s share of food though.  I clean the litter box daily in the morning and am thankful they are already litter-trained.  After work each day, I spend some time cuddling and playing with the kitties.  I am thrilled that they both come running into the room for attention when I get home.

My husband is not adapting to the cats as well as they are adapting to us.  The cats seem to like him, particularly Zelenka.  He says he is indifferent to the cats, but I think he is miserable.  His allergies have hit him hard since they arrived.  His eyes are really red and puffy.  He breaks out into little tiny hives if one of the cats rubs against him.  He claims that he will get used to them in a month or so, and that Benadryl will work for now.  He says that my being happy is more important to him than the adjustment period.  Part of me feels like he should have told me no when I said I wanted cats.  Part of me thinks we should get rid of them now before they have become ensconced in our home.  Part of me wants to just wait and see what happens, because I really want cats.

What do you think?  Enjoy the new kitties or call the adoption lady to take them back because it is not fair to my husband?

See you next week!

I Hate Quarter Close

It is another short blog week.  I cannot help it; it is the quarter close.

Accounting is a routine job.  Every month, I have a schedule of tasks that I complete in a specific order so that our financial statements are correct.  I have two weeks of reconciliations and journal entries to make sure all the accounts are accurate for the month.  Next, I have one week of management reporting to highlight specific account activity for the executives.  Finally, I have one week (maybe a bit more until the end of the month) where I review things that other accountants have completed, process certain types of business transactions, and work on special projects.  My monthly schedule is quite full, and although I have slower days, I never have completely free time.

Every three months, my routine is expanded from the normal busy month.  I am still responsible for everything that needs to be done on a monthly basis.  Then, there are extra reconciliations and journal entries that are only done on a quarterly basis.  All of them still must be done in the same two week time period.  There are a few additional reports that are completed for management.  Plus, there are schedules that must be prepared for the filings with the SEC and requests from the auditors that are due during the same week as the management reporting.  The last week is spent on the normal array of tasks but with more stuff to review because all the other accountants did extra journal entries and reconciliations as well.  As the review is happening by both our team and the auditors, everybody hopes that nobody finds anything that was done incorrectly.  When we do, it causes a landslide of journal entries to correct and reports to fix that must be done immediately because the SEC deadline is non-negotiable.  I work extra hours at night and on the weekend every quarter, and I still never feel like I have put in the appropriate amount of time to make sure things are done accurately.

I will not even go into the fiscal year end, and the extra work that requires.  It is still six months away, and I am not ready to think about it yet.

My brain is completely fried from the additional work, the long hours, and the intense mental energy I dedicate to the quarter close.  Although my goal is to always write real blogs, I have a feeling I will continue to fall back on short “quarter closes suck” type blogs at least once during those periods.  I just do not have the time and brainpower left to dedicate to the blog.  Work has taken it all.

See you next week!

The Death Bell Tolls

Almost three months ago, I wrote a blog about the helplessness that I felt when my husband and my friend were dealing with loved ones in the hospital.  Now, my friend’s mother has passed away, and the helplessness has only increased.  I just spent a very stressful and emotional weekend in Pennsylvania, going to her funeral and helping my friend’s family cope.  Although I know they appreciated my efforts, I still feel utterly helpless in the situation because I just cannot make it all better.

My friend’s mother has had poor health for many years now, and there have been several serious situations.  It has always seemed a possibility that she could go at any time.  Regardless, it came as a shock to me when I got the news last Thursday.  She had been in the hospital again with ailments related to the previous stay.  She went through surgery successfully and had been moved to a nursing home for further recovery before going home.  Every bit of news I had received from my friend had been positive.  Her mother was doing well and it seemed she would once again fight her way home for a while longer.  Indeed, my friend’s father said he had spoken to her not even a half hour prior to her death and all was well.  Unfortunately, there was a sudden turn for the worse and she was gone before they could do anything for her.  When the text came from my friend, I had to read it several times before I could believe what it had said.  All through the evening and the next day, I just kept rereading it, trying to convince myself that I had misinterpreted her words.

Although my initial response was to get into my car and drive to PA immediately, my husband’s cooler head prevailed.  Even if I packed swiftly, I still would have been 8:00 or later leaving the house.  The six hour drive would have gotten me to PA at 2:00 in the morning with no hotel room, no one knowing I was there, no one awake to contact, and nothing to do to help anyone.  Plus, I was due at work the next morning.  Friday was weird as I tried to concentrate on my duties and not think about what had happened so that I did not break down at my desk.  At the same time, I was paying close attention to my phone, waiting for any kind of message from my friend.  Eventually, I got news that the funeral would be Sunday evening.  I made the arrangements to take Monday off work, against my vacation time because my employer thinks that this was not a close enough person to warrant bereavement leave (why is it based on blood instead of importance?).  I headed up there Saturday to spend a couple of days with my friend, her father, and the rest of her family.

The three days of the trip went by in a blur.  Although I was physically present, there was not much that I could do to help anyone.  The funeral arrangements were already made.  Their immediate family surrounded them.  Another friend was staying at the house to help out already.  I do not say this to complain, but just to emphasize the fact that my presence, while valued, was not really needed.  My friend was bearing up under the pressure a little too well.  She was focused on the details of arranging the funeral, switching her mother’s accounts to her and her father, and cleaning the house.  She did not cry, and I fear that she will probably break in the future once we all have drifted back to our own homes and lives.  I will not be there, but hopefully she knows that I will listen if and when she is ready.  The Sunday viewing was a chaos of family members, few of whom I knew well.  I stuck to those I knew and tried to stay out of the way.  The funeral itself was short, though amusingly punctuated by another friend’s three and half year old boy.  My friend’s mother would have loved it, and I know my friend and her father enjoyed his innocent interjections into the preacher’s words.

Now that it is over, we move on with our lives but we remember the wonderful woman who has gone before us.  This weekend was punctuated with the many people sharing the memories of the woman we all gathered to honor one final time.  I remember a woman who sat in her kitchen and directed those around her.  She was not very mobile, especially at the end, but she knew everything that everyone else was doing.  I remember a woman who loved to cook and entertain, and who appreciated that I was a non-picky eater.  She could always count on me to eat whatever she wanted to make.  I remember a woman who baked hundreds of Christmas cookies every year.  Some were sold to people in town, and some were in the house to share with those who came to visit.  My favorites were thumbprints with icing.  A few years ago she gave me the recipe, so now I can make them for many Christmases to come while I remember her each time I pull it out.  I remember a woman who was always kind to me, who always made me feel welcome and at home.  I will miss her.

Here’s to Ginny!  See you next week!

Making Friends Is Hard To Do

This past weekend I spent in Pennsylvania, hanging out with two of my best friends from college.  Now I feel more refreshed and happier than I have in quite a while.  It really struck me how important having good friends is to my mental well-being.  Although I am actually more social now than I used to be, I do not have the kind of social contacts that matter.  Even if I am physically with people more often, I am not really bonding with them on that deeper level that gives my spirits a lift.  I have always had some trouble making and maintaining friendships, and I have not found that this has gotten any easier with age.

In high school, I was the smart, quiet girl.  I went to a fairly small high school and knew just about everybody in my school.  While I think I was generally liked by my classmates, I had very few of them that I would name as actual friends.  I mostly hung out with three girls from my grade.  One of these is my cousin, so it would be hard for me to lose that contact.  She and I actually get along even better as adults (that high school competition aspect is gone from our relationship), but we live in different areas of the country and do not see each other more than a half dozen times a year.  The other two girls are no longer in my life except as Facebook friends.  The four of us had a huge blowout toward the end of senior year over class rankings (too many smart girls in the room I guess), and my friendships with them never recovered.  I did try to reconnect with one of them after graduation because we had been friends since elementary school but it did not work out.

I was much better at socializing with my fellow students in college.  I lived on campus, so finding new acquaintances was as easy as walking down the hall, any hall.  Over the years my friends changed as we mixed up dating relationships, living arrangements, extra-curricular activities, and classes.  My initial friends were mainly made through close proximity in the dorms.  Then, I branched out as I bonded through parties, shared activities, and class projects.  Though there were several people I would have called friends while I was there, I have found it much, much harder to keep them now that we no longer live on the same campus.  Most have fizzled to nothing but a connection on Facebook.  I do have a few that I see once or so a year, but even enjoying their company at those events does not translate into any contact the rest of the year.  I have one former roommate that I have not seen much since college but who recently moved close to me.  We have put some effort into resurrecting our relationship.  Surprisingly, the two best friends I just saw did not become such until after college although I knew both while there.  One became a better friend after we discovered we were in the same town right after college.  The other was around when I needed help, and I discovered how much I sincerely liked him through all our conversations.  Neither lives near me now, and I have had to put in extra effort to maintain the contact with them.  I know they are true friends though, because no matter how long it has been, we pick up right where we left off.

As an adult, I have found it very hard to make friends on a more than superficial level.  I only meet people through work and my husband.   While I seem to generally get along with the people I know, I seem to be out of sync with where most people are in their lives.  I am too old and too uncomfortable with the evening bar scene to connect with half of them.  I am too young and not family-oriented enough to connect with the other half.  I have maintained one friendship with a former coworker, but it is a tenuous thread at best and we have dinner maybe twice a year.  I like her, but we just do not seem to connect in a way that makes us want to see each other more often than that.  Most of the people I see on a regular basis are friends through my very social husband.  Honestly, I think the connections would fall away if my husband was not there to hold them together.  Again it is just a matter of not being on the same wavelength as them as they get together at bars and log their beer choices into the Untapped app.

Sometimes I worry that I am doomed to a lonely life with very little meaningful human interaction.  It is not that I do not want to make friends.  I feel I am an open-minded person who is willing to give superficial interactions a chance to develop into something more.  However, I find that very few people seem to consider me good friend material.  I get very few invitations to do anything with other people, except those that have obviously been flung to the masses.  When I make the gesture to invite others to do something with me, I receive what I call the back burner treatment.  If they do not find something better to do, they might consider my invitation but no one ever really seems enthused about whatever I have suggested.  It becomes depressing to constantly put effort into people that have little interest into giving anything back.

This weekend has proved that I really need to work on strengthening those relationships that I do have.  I am sad that my best friends are so far away, but I think I need to work on getting more face-to-face time with them anyways.  My mental health depends on it.  I will also try to keep connecting with the college friend who moved within a reasonable driving distance.  Maybe it will grow into something better than it is now.  Of course, I will continue to try to make friends with other adults in my area.  I suppose the best answer would be to find ways of exposing myself to new groups of people, but work, family demands, and lack of motivation use up a lot of my free time.

What about you?  Have you kept up friendships from school?  Have you made many friends as an adult?  How do you do it?

See you next week!

What Time Is It!?!

I make plans to be productive just about every weekend.  Somehow, I never seem to accomplish much on my To Do List.  The problem is not only lack of motivation (although that definitely plays a part, see the 7/1/2015 blog), but that the day ends before I am ready for it to end.  Time seems to slip away from me and I end up in the evening hours with no idea what I did with all the time that passed since I got up that morning.  So I examined my life, and I have come up with four things that suck a lot of time out of my day.

The number one thing that steals my time is the internet.  I get on with the intention to check my email, and before I know it hours have past.  Email itself does not actually take that long to read, unless I have a Buzzfeed Books newsletter in there (those have lots of links to click).  But when I am done with the email, I do not get off the computer.  Instead, I go to Facebook where I check for actual messages to me, but end up staying to scroll through the newsfeed.  I keep unfollowing people that I really do not need to see their daily updates, but it seems like Facebook keeps adding what kind of things I see in my newsfeed so it never gets any shorter.  Then, I cannot help but click on all the quizzes.  I know these are not real and they give laughable results, but somehow that is part of the addiction.  Apparently, I really do need to know which Avenger I would be (I must have hidden anger issues because I keep getting The Hulk).  From there, I go to Youtube where one ten minute video turns into several ten to twenty minute videos.  Finally, I stop at the msn homepage to read multiple news stories, mostly in the Money and Lifestyle sections.  None of it is that important, but somehow I cannot stop consuming more unnecessary internet information.

The second thing that steals my time is other people.  I swear my family has a sixth sense to know when I am busy and do not really want to talk to them.  I do screen my phone calls, but often I answer even if I do not really feel like it.  Part of this is guilt because I live so far away from my family, and part of it is fear that something is wrong at home, especially if it is my sister calling.  We are all talkers, so any phone call lasts for at least an hour while we exchange all the news that happened since the last time we talked, even if it was only a few days ago.  In addition to my family in PA, my husband and stepson waste a lot of my time.  I know spending time with the family is part of having one, but I am not complaining about the time that is spent doing something together.  I can plan around making and eating dinner together, or watching a movie together.  It is more the minutes that fly by because one of them has decided to talk to me about something I am not interested in hearing.  My husband is forever cornering me to talk about his future plans (that will never happen) or trying to lure me into political debates because he enjoys them.  My stepson talks non-stop whenever anyone is around.  He talks about his friends at school, he describes all the episodes of whatever TV shows he enjoys, and he asks more questions than I know how to answer.  Maybe I should be more assertive about saying I do not have time to talk right now, but I just feel so guilty when they seem so disappointed at the shutdown.

Sleeping seems to take up a lot of my time on the weekends.  I have the intention to keep to a similar schedule as on the weekdays, but I usually end up sleeping later and taking naps more often than not.  I am always so worn out on the weekends that I have a hard time getting up in the mornings.  On the weekdays, I drag myself out of bed before six because otherwise I will not make it to work on time.  On the weekends, my intention is to get up around seven, but it often ends up being eight or sometimes even nine before I can get myself started for the day.  Then, I have to take a nap mid-afternoon.  I will go upstairs thinking to close my eyes for twenty minutes, but that turns into two hours on a regular basis.  Even if I set my alarm, I just end up resetting it to get more sleep.  I must need the sleep though because I am still ready for bed at my normal ten o’clock bedtime.

Finally, I underestimate how long it takes me to do things.  Even when I am productive on my weekends, I tend not to do everything on my To Do List because I just cannot make it through all the items.  I know how long it takes me to do routine tasks.  It takes approximately half an hour to wash the dishes, fifteen minutes to fold a basket of clothes, five minutes to separate a bag of snacks into smaller baggies for lunches, etc.  When it comes to projects or non-routine chores though, I have no idea how long they take me to do and I always seem to underestimate them even when I try to pad the time.  I will put five things on my list, but when I actually start working on them I find hours have passed and I am still working on the first task.  The more physical tasks are the worst because I am much more out of shape than I would like to admit.  My perfectionism hinders my progress as well.  I do not just want to complete the task; I want to complete it correctly.  So I should probably work on doing things more efficiently, whether that means becoming more practiced at doing the tasks or learning to be satisfied with “good enough”.

What about you?  Are you good about sticking to a schedule and getting things done?  Do you lose time in your day?  What are some of the things you find suck up your time without your realizing it?

See you next week!

Black and Gold….And Purple?

Last week marked one of the most uncomfortable parts of my marriage, the beginning of football season.

For starters, I am a Steelers fan.  I grew up just outside of Pittsburgh, and I bleed black and gold.  My grandmother would disown me if I ever strayed from my roots.  (I also am a Penguins fan, but that is another post.)  I did not grow up watching a lot of Sunday football because neither of my parents did.  However, once I left home and got more exposure to the world, I actually found that football was good entertainment.  The Steelers games are not broadcast in northern Virginia much unless they are one of the evening games, but when I get the chance I like to tune into them.  Getting together with friends and family to cheer on the home team is great fun, regardless of whether they win or not.

My husband is a Baltimore Ravens fan.  For all that he talks about how much he hates Steeler bandwagon fans (I am grudgingly allowed to be a Steelers fan because of where I was born), he is a bandwagon Ravens fan.  He grew up in the Washington Redskins territory.  His father is a Washington Redskins fan.  He was a Washington Redskins fan until just a few years ago.  Then, he became tired of watching the Redskins lose season after season, and he became a Ravens fan.  He says they made the game fun again, but to me that translates into he wants to root for a team that wins consistently.  Therefore, he is a bandwagon fan.  My guess is if the Ravens start playing like the Redskins, he will change his mind again.

Of course, we have known from the start that we were rivalries when it came to football, but it was not an issue for the first year or so we were together.  We enjoyed watching games together in general.  Plus, we had an agreement that as long as we were not playing each other, we would support the other’s team.  We even watched the Steelers/Ravens games together in good spirit and friendly rivalry.  This has slowly changed over the years.  It started with the inability to watch the Steelers/Ravens games together.  My husband would get angry if the Steelers won and rage about how biased the referees were during the game.  If the Ravens won, he would gloat and go into lectures about why the Ravens are so much better than the Steelers.  Now the tension has spread to all of the games.  I can no longer watch any Steelers or Ravens game with him, regardless of who the other team is.  Even when they are not playing each other, I have to hear about how great the Ravens are and what a quality quarterback Flacco is.  (Just for the record, I do not think Flacco is much of a quarterback.  He usually gets the job done, but I do not find his performance that inspiring and do not think he will ever be considered elite.)

This season, I found out that all boundaries on our treaty have been violated.  Thursday was the first game of the regular season, Steelers vs. Patriots.  My husband had some friends over to watch the game together.  At one point, I overheard them, my husband included, talking about how much they hate the Steelers and how much they hate Steelers fans.  I gave them a piece of my mind, and then later when everyone had gone home, I gave my husband another piece.  Not only was he not supporting the Steelers when they were not playing the Ravens (that was our agreement remember), but he was talking trash about Steelers fans.  That means he was talking trash about me, his wife.  It was the final straw, and my husband has officially sucked all the fun out of football season in our house.

Of course, this is only one small piece of our marriage.  Not being able to enjoy football season together is a bummer, but it should not be the end of us as a couple.  It does however make me wonder what other things are in store for me now that the honeymoon stage of marriage is over and we are effectively stuck with each other.  It also adds to a list of growing signs that my husband does not have much respect for where I grew up and the people that come from there, which makes me question our long term happiness together.  For now though, I guess the solution is to stay away from each other during football games and work on the rest of our marriage to hopefully be happy with one another in the big picture.

Also, it might finally be time for me to find a good Steelers bar in the area.  Anyone have any recommendations?

Go Steelers!  See you next week!

Confessions of a Book Addict

What is my favorite activity in the whole world?  Reading.  Here are some random facts about my self-diagnosed addiction to books.

I have probably read over a thousand books in my lifetime.  I like all genres and will give anything a try.  I read more fiction than non-fiction, but I do like the occasional biography, history, or real-life crime story.  I love epic fantasy, the more novels in the series, the better.  I am not ashamed that I like chick lit and romance novels, especially those that have strong female protagonists.  I still enjoy reading novels meant for children and young adults.  I have an incredibly hard time not finishing a book once I have started it even if I do not like it.  The only exceptions are textbooks (especially math and science ones).  I also find it difficult to read more than one novel at a time, because I was once scolded by a babysitter for not finishing the book she lent me before starting another one.  I have read books in as little as one day (even Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire), and I have procrastinated reading over weeks (the little novella Billy Budd, Sailor nearly got the better of me).

I actually have a spreadsheet dedicated to books that I want to read.  I call it my Geek Page.  There are currently 242 entries on it, but some of those actually represent series with multiple books in them.  I gather the books from many sources.  I get recommendations from friends and family.  I read a book that I like, and so I look up more by the same author.  I hear about books through online forums and TV.  I pull some of them from reviews in Entertainment Weekly.  I probably get the most ideas from the articles on the Buzzfeed Books emails that I receive.  Some of the books that are on this list have been there since I created the spreadsheet (maybe eight or nine years ago?).  Some of them have only been on here a day or two.  I always delete books that I have completed, but I almost never delete a book I have not read yet.  While I dream about reading all of them some day, I am quite aware that I probably will never get through the list, especially since I add much faster than I delete.  Even though I have this magnificent list, I still randomly pull books off the shelves to read without having preselected them.

Despite my love for books, I do not actually own that many compared to some people I know.  I probably have a hundred or so, spread across several bookshelves and boxes.  I used to own a lot more, but after moving several times the joy of owning does not quite live up to the pain of packing and lugging boxes of books everywhere.  I have purged my collection over time, although it is very hard for me to get rid of a book.  I always give my books away; I never toss them in the garbage.  I actually find it much easier to never buy a book in the first place than to dispose of it after I already own it.  Because of this, I try to force myself to borrow the majority of the books I read, mostly from the library, sometimes from people I know.  This has the added benefit of being kinder to my budget as well.  I much prefer to read an actual book where I can turn the pages, but I still do own and use an e-reader.  My Nook has probably twenty or so books on it.  I have bought them mostly to take on vacation as I try not to travel with library books lest they get lost, or non-fiction books that I think I might want to reference more than once in my life.  Someday when I have unlimited money and space, I hope to own a library that would rival the one in Disney’s Beauty and the Beast movie.

I attended the National Book Festival this past weekend in Washington DC.  I met a college friend there, and we went to two of the sessions.  The first was a panel discussion between Jane Hirshfield, Azar Nafisi, and Jeffrey Brown entitled Why Literature Matters.  The panelists joked with the audience that the topic probably did not need to be debated much for an audience who was at the National Book Festival.  The second program was a presentation given by Bryan Stevenson about some of the ideas discussed in his book Just Mercy: A Story of Justice and Redemption.  The book is based on his opinions about the flaws in our nation’s justice system, drawn from his experience as a lawyer working with some of the most hopeless cases in the court system.  He was a phenomenal speaker who clearly articulated his ideas and provided plenty of anecdotal evidence.  His book is now on my Geek Page, waiting to be read.

I would dearly love to be paid to read all day, every day.  Yet I did not go into a career that had anything to do with reading books.  The main reason for this was that English classes drained me.  Although I did really well in them, analyzing and critiquing books was very hard work for me.  I felt that the process of doing English homework sucked all the fun out of too many books that could have been enjoyed for their own sake.  I feared this would probably hold true in the professional world as well.  So for now, I read books to enjoy them, not to edit them, analyze them, critique them, or pretend that I have all the answers to why the authors wrote them in the first place.  However, if someone wants to pay me to put their library to good use, I am more than happy to accept the position.  If I ever have the time to do much volunteer work, literacy initiatives are at the top of the list.

Now it is time to go read a book.  I am currently enjoying The Closing of the American Mind by Allan Bloom.  It is a rather complicated non-fiction read that has made me really wish I was more familiar with some of the past’s more famous thinkers (Plato, Aristotle, Nietzsche, Freud, Marx, etc.).  Next in the pile is a more light-hearted pick by one of my favorite authors, Home from the Sea by Mercedes Lackey.  Both are due back to the library in a week and a half, so I need to get reading.

What is on your reading list?  Any recommendations for what I should read next?

See you next week!

Highlights of Seattle

It is easy to pick a topic to write about when you have just come back from vacation.  You need to write about the vacation of course.  You might remember from last week’s mini-blog that I went with my husband to Seattle, WA for the week to visit his cousins.  So now without further ado, some highlights from the trip.

Best Restaurant:  Elliott’s Oyster House

Over the course of several days, we sampled many places.  Our cousins guided us to several of their favorite places, including some Seattle hotspots and some yummy local options in Bellevue.  We also ventured out on our own one night to sample the famous Sky City restaurant at the top of the Space Needle.  While the view from Sky City was definitely the best we had while eating, the food options were a bit fancy for my taste.  I actually enjoyed our final meal at the oyster house best.  It was my first time eating raw oysters, which were not my favorite (a little chewy).  However, my grilled seafood salad was amazing.  There was a decent amount of seafood on it, and it was all cooked deliciously.

Best Snack:  Rachel’s Ginger Beer

Although I had plenty of muffins, cookies, and brownies at our cousins’ house, I only have a couple places to choose between when it comes to snacks outside of the house.  I picked Rachel’s, because a) it is unique and b) it was good.  We did have cupcakes one day.  While tasty, they were no better than half the other cupcake places I have tried (and I have tried quite a few of them).  This is the first time I have ever been to a place dedicated to ginger beer though.  You could have it plain, you could have it flavored by a number of fruit or spice add-ins, you could have it mixed with alcohol, or you could have it with ice cream.  I had mine with pink guava juice, and it was quite refreshing.

Best View:  Ferry from Bainbridge Island to Seattle

As mentioned above, we did visit the Space Needle where we had the view of Seattle in the restaurant and from the observation deck above.  This gave us a wonderful view of the mountains including an amazing look at Mount Rainier and the harbor.  However, this was easily beat by the view of the city skyline coming back on the ferry from Bainbridge Island.  We timed our ferry ride so that we were headed back to Seattle right as it was getting dark.  As we got closer, the sky got darker and the city lights twinkled brighter in the twilight.  It was absolutely breathtaking.

Best Attraction:  Chihuly Garden and Glass

I might be biased because this was my only pick while there.  I was looking more for relaxation and less for running around doing things during my time off.  As a result, I failed to plan anything, and my husband and our cousins picked most of our activities for the week.  When I heard that the Chihuly gallery was literally right next to the Space Needle, I requested that we make this another stop on our solo night out.  I have seen Chihuly’s work before at an installation in Florida, so I knew it would be beautiful.  This gallery did not disappoint.  There were eight inside galleries (nine if you count the Chandelier Walkway), one glasshouse exhibit, and one outside garden.  Chihuly uses blown glass set among lights, flora, and objects to create fantastical landscapes and scenes.  Everything about it made me happy and I could not keep the smile off my face as we walked through the galleries.  My favorite room was the Sealife Room where there was a huge whirl of blue glass currents in the center with little glass sea creatures floating among the pieces.  Around the edges of the room were individual sculptures highlighting individual sea creatures.  My favorite was a piece with turtles on it.  Bonus, the gallery took a picture of us against one of the pieces which we could download for free from home.

Weirdest Attraction:  Seattle Gum Wall

I honestly do not get the allure of this attraction.  There is a wall down in Pike Place Market that is literally covered in gum and things stuck in the gum.  Although I tried politely to decline a visit to the gum wall, our cousins would not let it go and insisted on a trip to see it on our first day out there.  Apparently you cannot go to Seattle without visiting the gum wall, and therefore I figured I could not write a blog about a vacation to Seattle without mentioning it too.

Cutest Baby:  Little Baby Cousin

This was an easy contest given that we only really saw and interacted with one baby while there.  Our cousins have a son around eight months of age.  We have seen many pictures of him since he was born, but this was our first chance to see him.  He was a very calm and playful baby without a lot of fussing and tantrums (luckily we got to see him before he started teething).  He seemed to like us and had no qualms with playing with these strangers who had invaded his house.  Some baby-playing was just what I needed to relax on my vacation.

See you next week!