So Here Is How You Did – The Performance Review

So a few months ago, I wrote about completing my self-evaluation for work.  A couple of week ago, I received my completed performance review from my boss and went to the meeting to go over it all.  I know there was quite a space between that first post and this one.  I guess the company failed at the “within 90 days of anniversary” policy that they have.  My self-evaluation seemed to meet their approval.  The review of my past year went along the lines I was expecting.  The short-term goals that were given to me were mostly predictable.  The long-term career path they provided for me though took me by surprise, and not necessarily a pleasant one.

My self-evaluation seemed to satisfy my boss.  She had no comments to add to my list of tasks and responsibilities.  So apparently, I made no glaring omissions and I did not concern them with an over-extension of my authority in the company.  She had no real comments on my significant accomplishments, except to congratulate me on completing many of the goals that were set for me last year (both by myself and the company).  For the short-term and long-term goals, she just told me that I had set good ones for the company department.  Many of the things I included were very task-specific things that I want my team to complete over the next year or two.  I did not include much in the way of career-oriented/personal growth goals, and she included some of this in the set of objectives she gave me for the upcoming year.

The next section is a list of categories that help the supervisor evaluate the employee’s job performance according to the metrics that are important to the company.  I receive a “grade” in each category and some comments to justify the rating (good or bad).  Then all the categories are averaged together, and I receive an overall “grade” for my year.  This year I received a 2.08 (scale is 1 best to 5 worst), which means I frequently exceed expectations.  This is great considering that I have been in the position for less than a year, and I feel very unconfident in some of the aspects of my job.  My strongest categories according to my boss are corporate policies/procedures, initiative, quality improvement, and company identification (basically I follow the rules well).  My lowest scores were in internal controls, knowledge, problem-solving/judgement/decision-making, planning/organization, and communication skills, which mostly contained comments related back to me being new in the position and still learning.  She identified a strength in managing subordinates, and a weakness in communicating with superiors.

The final written section is a list of goals she would like me to focus on in the next performance period.  Nothing on here was unexpected, and only one thing concerned me.  I am to take over greater management responsibility for my staff.  Previously, I was managing their daily tasks, but not performing most of the official employee management tasks (on paper they all reported to my manager instead of me).  Now they all report to me officially, and I will be responsible for many of the supervisor tasks such as performance reviews.  She also gave me a list of tasks she would like me to transition from her to me, most of which I already had identified as something I should learn. There was one project in which I need to put some serious effort learning how to manage.  This is something that used to be done by our department but it was taken away due to a material weakness identified by the auditors.  It was not my fault it was taken away in the first place, but it is now my responsibility to spend time with the man who took it over and learn enough that this can be transferred back to our team.  Finally, she indicated I would probably gain some not-yet-identified tasks stemming from the accounting department reorganization which began a few months ago.  The final goal is to take some seminars to gain greater strength in communicating with my superiors.  This is the only goal that makes me really nervous, partly because I do not like communicating with my superiors and partly because it is part of the not-so-pleasant surprise I mentioned earlier.

It is not written anywhere in my official performance evaluation, but in the meeting my boss brought up my long-term career trajectory with the company.  My boss will probably retire in the next 5-10 years, and they are starting to plan for her successor.  They have apparently identified me as one of the potential candidates for her replacement.  I was actually surprised they would see me in that position, especially in that time frame.  I shocked her by not displaying great enthusiasm for the idea and by voicing hesitation in seeing myself in that position.  The idea bothers me for a few reasons.  One, her position does not seem very fun.  She goes to a lot of meetings, she does a lot of research, she acts as a go-between various departments, she makes organizational calls, etc.  I like burying myself in the details and playing with the spreadsheets, not really orchestrating the big picture.  Two, personality-wise I think I am a bad fit for upper-management.  I am rather passive and non-confrontational.  I think I would have a hard time being a voice for the accounting department up against the executive team and other departments.  Third, I do not think they actually want me in that position either, but are just trying to figure out what to do since the girl they were grooming to fill it left the company.  They need to prep somebody to fill that position (or at least do some of the work).  Plus, I think they want me to feel like I have somewhere to grow so that I do not leave too.  At least for now they want me to think I am a potential candidate.  It does not change the fact that I just do not think I want it.

Bonus:  My department participated in a 360 degree performance review for all the managers.  I received my feedback from that review in a separate meeting from my official performance review.  I had a really low response rate (3 out of a potential 63 respondents), but overall I got a 1.15 (again 1 best, 5 worst).  Apparently, my co-workers want me to recognize/reward performance more, consider employee point of view when making decisions, and be more aware of employee developmental needs.

That is it.  My review is done for the year.  I can breathe for a few months before the process starts again.  For now, I will work on my short-term goals, I will think about what my real long-term goals are, and I will resist the efforts to groom me for a position that I do not want.

See you next week!

Happy Turkey Day

I am so glad to be on Thanksgiving break.  Today, I wanted to ponder the Thanksgiving holiday for a few minutes.  My Thanksgivings have changed a lot over the years.  It used to be a much bigger holiday for me, and now it mostly means a few days off work.

When I was younger, Thanksgiving was the equivalent of Christmas in our house.  It was a big deal that was surrounded by family traditions.  I grew up in Pennsylvania, which meant that I usually got an early dismissal on Wednesday and did not have to go back to school until the following Tuesday (Monday is that beloved Pennsylvania state holiday, first day of deer season).  Thursday began with my mom, my sister, and me, eating cinnamon rolls and watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade.  We would watch all the way until Santa made his appearance at the end.  Then, we usually spent the day making our contributions for Thanksgiving dinner and wrapping presents.  Later in the afternoon, we headed over to my grandparents on my father’s side.  In addition to my grandparents, there were two great-uncles and a cousin, all with significant others, and occasionally some extra invitees there as well.  We would all partake in the usual Thanksgiving feast:  turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, green beans, corn casserole, cranberry sauce, rolls, and more that varied from year to year.  After dinner, my grandparents exchanged presents with us.  My paternal grandparents did not celebrate Christmas, but still wanted to participate in some sort of gift exchange with their children and grandchildren.  So we did all the “Christmas” activities with them on Thanksgiving, and we had the regular Christmas with my mom’s side of the family.

Over the years, my Thanksgivings have become much less exciting.  It was a gradual change over time, not an abrupt stop to tradition.  My grandfather died when I was fourteen.  Grandma kept Thanksgiving going for a couple of years, but it was a much smaller meal.  Then, she stopped it completely, and we started to have Thanksgiving at my mom’s side of the family (big meal, no presents).  Grandma also decided that she was going to celebrate Christmas after all, so the present exchange was moved to Christmas time.  My paternal grandma now comes to my maternal grandma’s house for Christmas, so there is only one big celebration a year.  The biggest change to my holiday probably came when I moved out of Pennsylvania to Virginia though.  I have not gone home for Thanksgiving for a number of years.  It is too expensive and time-consuming to go up there more than a couple of times a year, and Thanksgiving is one of the holidays that got side-lined.  Sometimes I have been able to join some sort of Thanksgiving celebration in Virginia, and other years I have spent on my own.  The past couple of years, I have been with my husband and his family.  They usually have some kind of meal together, but it is a much smaller meal than those with which I grew up and never involve more than just his parents and siblings.  The day is spent much more around the football games on TV than anything else.

Although I have had some rather subdued Thanksgivings in the past decade, this year I am looking at one of my quietest.  My husband and I are not going anywhere.  We are not having anyone come over for the day.  We are not preparing any kind of Thanksgiving-style meal.  The plan is to just stay home, watch football (although that will likely be my husband more than me), and eat pizza.  We were invited to his uncle’s house to have dinner with his uncle, his uncle’s wife, and his parents, but he does not want to go.  I was willing to make a Thanksgiving meal for us here to enjoy, but he did not want to do that either.  I may still watch the Macy’s day parade if I can wrestle the TV away from him for a while.  However, it looks like this will just be a restful four day weekend for me, rather than much of a holiday.  In some ways that sounds kind of nice, but somehow I cannot help but feel we are missing out on something special.

Regardless of whether you are enjoying a quiet day on your own, having a big blowout with the family, or something in between, enjoy this year’s turkey day.

Happy Thanksgiving!

See you next week!

A World So Intolerant

I do not like to watch the news.  Sometimes it feels like nothing good ever happens any more.  We have one story of death and destruction after another dominating the headlines.  It makes me depressed to think about it for too long.  I prefer to tuck my head back into my shell so I can pretend that everything is well in the world.  This week though has had several rather horrific news stories push their way onto my radar, so I feel the need to poke out of my protective cover for a minute and put some thoughts down.

Why are we so intolerant of each other?  There are so many people on this planet.  I would like to think that most of us are generally good.  However, it is hard to ignore the evidence, both big and small, that tells me every day that we are not as nice as we seem.  It seems like we go out of our way to hurt anyone who is different from us, who does not believe the same things as us, who takes a different path in life from us.  It does not matter if we are talking about terrorist attacks like those in Beirut on November 12, 2015, or hate crimes like the attack on the Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston on June 17, 2015, or children driven to suicide because of bullying in the schools.  It is all horrible stuff that I do not want to see in my newsfeed.

The aftermath of these events is almost as bad.  People pick certain stories and run wild with them on social media, claiming support but not really understanding what happened or doing anything to make changes around them.  Political activists use the incidents to promote social policies that would have little effect on the root cause of the problem.  Groups organize to seek revenge against the original perpetrators and often expand to a hateful outcry against whole groups of people who only superficially resemble those responsible.  People point fingers at each other, but no one does anything to fix the problem.  Even if one or two people do actually step up to try to make an actual difference for the better, they are drowned out by the bullshit around them.

Why cannot we just learn to live with each other?  I certainly do not like everyone that I meet, that I work with, that I am related to, etc.  I doubt most of the people I dislike even know it though, because I do not advertise the fact.  I am not talking about letting other people hurt me in any way, but just stepping back when they come into disagreement with me.   Just because they have opposing political views from me, or believe a different religion than me, or are of a culture I do not like being around, does not mean they do not have the right to be who they are.  As long as they are not infringing on my right to be myself, then I have no reason to infringe on their right to be themselves.  I am definitely not perfect, but I do my best to stay out of other people’s personal freedoms.

I just want us all to stop being so intolerant of people who are different than us.  I understand I probably cannot have much impact on international terrorism, but I can certainly treat those around me with respect and understanding.  If we all start giving each other a little courtesy in our day to day interactions, and stop focusing on trying to change people who are different than us, then maybe we eventually can stop seeing so much hatred pour forth from the media.  Then, it will not be so depressing to hear the news.

See you next week!

Fall Favorites Tag

There has been a Fall Favorites Tag going around the Youtube community.  It brought back fond memories of my Myspace days (who remembers that?).  I used to get tagged in questionnaires all the time, and I loved filling them out in my blog.  I do not have a Youtube channel, but I still wanted to participate in the fun.  So here are my fall favorites.

Favorite Candle:  I have not been much of a candle burner in recent years.  It just never crosses my mind to light the ones I have.  I recently purchased two from Bath and Body Works though.  One of them counts as a fall scent, Feast - Maple Sugar Brittle.  I guess by default this becomes my fall favorite for this year.

Favorite Lip Product:  I tend toward more neutral lips in the fall since I am not very comfortable in the trendy bold colors.  They just do not seem appropriate in the workplace, and that is where I wear most of my makeup.  My favorite ones are Maybelline Warm Me Up and Revlon Pink Truffle.

Favorite Blush:  I do not own that many blushes, so I do not change them for the season.  Lately, I have been wearing Milani Romantic Rose or Benefit Dandelion.

Favorite Drink:  My favorite fall drink is definitely hot chocolate.  I love that it is finally cool enough to sip hot drinks while cozying up with a good book under the blankets.

Favorite Clothing Item:  I love wearing boots.  I have several pairs, all different heights and styles, so I am ready to go no matter what the occasion.

Favorite Fall Movie:  Since there are not really fall movies, I guess this means more Halloween movie.  As an adult, I actually avoid Halloween and scary movies.  As a child, I loved the movie The Canterville Ghost (the 1985 version with Richard Kiley as Sir Simon de Canterville).

Favorite Fall Show:  For seasonal specials, I pick the classic Peanut specials, It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown and A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving.  When I was a child, I also really liked the TV special Molly’s Pilgrim.

Favorite Thanksgiving Food:  Thanksgiving is a meal I definitely enjoy.  I want to eat it all in large quantities.  If I had to pick my favorites from it, I would choose sweet potato casserole and canned cranberry sauce.

Favorite Costume:  My favorite costume from when I was a child was Celia Hamilton from the Mandie mystery series.  My cousin went as Mandie.  I loved these books when I was younger.  I loved wearing the old dress and bonnet and pretending that I was going on an adventure.  As an adult, I have not dressed up in a number of years because I do not go to Halloween parties.  However, I intend to be a flapper if I ever get invited to one in the future.

I hope you had fun reading my fall favorites.  Tag, you are it.  Share your favorites with me in the comments.

See you next week!

It Has Been Six Months!

I have completed six full months of blog posts.  My first post went live on May 6, 2015.  Since then I have posted twenty-six articles to my site.  I thought it would be fitting to do an assessment of my project at this milestone.  I want to acknowledge what I have done so far, and to share what I want to do next.

Looking back at my initial post, I outlined three reasons for beginning this blog.  So how am I doing at fulfilling those goals?  The first reason I gave was to practice writing, to improve the amount of time I spent doing it and to improve my quality.  I definitely write more because I am forced to do it every week so I can post something.  I have not missed a week yet, although there have been a couple rather short blogs.  I have not been very successful in writing more outside of the blog though.  I have a couple pages written of a novel, but I just cannot seem to get the time and motivation lined up to work on it consistently.  As far as quality goes, I probably am not the best judge of my own work and I have received no outside feedback on anything posted.  However, I can say that there are blogs I like and blogs that I think were not very well done.

The second reason I gave was to use this space as a way to work through my life.  I do not think I have accomplished much in this aspect of the project.  Although some of my blogs border on introspective, more of them are observational about life happening around me.  There are two main reasons I have not followed through with more journal-like entries.  First, I am a little timid about putting too many personal details out there.  I am afraid of the consequences if people I know are not thrilled with some of the things I think.  The other reason is that I am avoiding answering the questions inside myself.  There are many things in my life that I need to examine and change if I am going to be happy, but I do not have the confidence to do so.  While I still leave my blog designated as a place to work through my issues, it might not be as often or as open as I originally envisioned.

The last reason was to entertain others.  Although I cannot know for sure, my guess is that I have not accomplished this goal at all.  My blog posts all have two to four views, and I am fairly certain these are Googlebots archiving the information.  I have no followers, no shares, no comments, no indication that anyone real has actually read anything I have written.  I have not told anyone I am writing a blog, and I have not marketed myself online in any way.  Therefore, I am relying on someone randomly stumbling upon the blog.  The chances of that happening are fairly slim, so I know that I currently have little chance of fulfilling this goal.  If I truly want some readers, then I am going to need the confidence to actually put myself out there and let people know that I have written something.

Where do I go from here?  For now, I think the important thing is to keep writing.  While I might not be well-read, I am a published writer and that is more than I used to be.  I want to try to do better about giving my blogs the time they deserve, so that I am truly proud of all of them.  Additionally, I want to focus on learning more about the Blogger site and what it can do.  I have done little to explore the available features and use them to make my blogs unique.  I also want to set up my Google+ profile, so that there is actually a real prolife attached to the name posted to my blogs.  Maybe, if I am feeling adventurous, I will even take the first steps in letting others know there is a blog out there that they can read.

Blog 27 is done.  Here is to another six months.  See you next week!

Sample Overload

I have become buried under an avalanche of unused samples.  Like everyone I know, I have succumbed to the phenomena of subscription sample boxes.  I have received eight different boxes so far, although I am not subscribed to one of those any more.  Today, I want to talk about the four beauty boxes I have experienced.  I am receiving samples faster than I can try, and I have become overwhelmed by all the products I have lying around.  The obvious solution is to cancel some subscription boxes, and I am going to keep only one going forward.

Beauty Box 5:  http://www.beautybox5.com/

-  $12 a month, discounts if prepaid for a quarter or year

-  Most common brand:  Hard Candy, Nanococo

-  Most common product:  Eyeshadow

-  Favorite product received:  Nanococo Lip Gloss in Call Me Babe

I received this one as a Christmas gift for four months.  Each box contained five products.  It was a mixture of drug store brands and unknown brands, though most seemed affordable.  There is a shop attached to the site where I assume I can buy the products I received in the box but I never looked into it.  I never got anything that I was really excited to try out.  Plus, most of the things would be cheap enough to buy at the store if I did want to try it.  I never bought a subscription myself once my gift ran out, and I do not plan to subscribe to it again in the future.

Walmart Beauty Box:  https://beautybox.walmart.com/

-  $5 a quarter

-  Most common brand:  Dove, Nivea, Jergens

-  Most common product:  Shampoo & Conditioner, Hand/Body Creams

-  Favorite product received:  Cover Girl Lip Gloss in Candilicious

I have been subscribed for one year, receiving four boxes, one for each season.  There are not a consistent number of samples in them, but usually a number of travel-sized products and one-use samples.  This box tended more toward skincare and toiletries than makeup.  All the products are available at Walmart and other drugstores.  There are no additional perks to the subscription.  I never was particularly excited about anything I received.  Again, I can pick these up affordably if I did want to try something.  I intend to cancel my subscription.  However, it definitely is the most affordable option if someone can only afford a very small splurge.

Ipsy:  https://www.ipsy.com/

-  $10 a month, discounts if prepaid a year

-  Most common brand:  Nyx

-  Most common product:  Eyeshadow

-  Favorite product received:  Pixi Eyeshadow Duo in Apricot Glow

This is my longest running subscription at nineteen months.  Each month I receive five products in a unique makeup bag.  The products lean more heavily to makeup, but there are skincare and haircare items included occasionally.  This does have a good mix of known and unknown brands, high-end and drugstore prices.  The products are usually full-size or deluxe sample sizes.  After receiving the bag, I can go review the products for points.  Then, those points can be used to “purchase” an extra item for the next month from the available products in the rewards section (usually three to eight items available at different redeeming values).  However, I have had trouble accumulating the amount of points needed to buy anything before they start expiring (one year from receiving), and even when I do get enough points there is nothing available that I even remotely want to get.  I did enjoy this subscription for a while, but I think it is time to give it a break.  I do not get that excited about my bags any more.  Plus how many makeup bags do I really need?

Birchbox:  https://www.birchbox.com/

-  $10 a month (+tax), discounts if prepaid for a year

-  Most common brand:  Marcelle, Harvey Prince

-  Most common product:  Moisturizer

-  Favorite product received:  LAQA & Co Lip Lube in Honeypot, Air Repair Moisturizer

I have had this subscription for a year.  Each month there are five products in a unique patterned cardboard box (some of the boxes I keep and some I throw away).  Each month, there is one item that I can select from a group of four or five if I want, and the rest are random choices by the company.  I would say I get more skincare than anything else, but there is always at least one makeup item and a random array of haircare, bath products, and perfumes over time.  The products are usually travel-size or deluxe samples.  Many of the brands are unknown to me, but most seem to be mid- to high-end price ranges.  All the products are available from the Birchbox store to purchase.  After receiving the box, I can earn points by reviewing the products.  The points accumulate and once I reach one hundred they can be traded for $10 off anything in the store.  Points are also earned with each purchase based on the amount spent.  This is the box I intend to keep.  Most of these products are too expensive for me to just try randomly, but I have received several products that I have really enjoyed.  I have already purchased one product based on a sample, and I have a few more on my wish list.

What about you?  Have you fallen victim to subscription fever?  Are you overwhelmed by product samples?  What are your favorite boxes?

See you next week!

New Kitties!

Only a few more days, and the quarter close should be over.

This weekend we welcomed two new members into our family.  We adopted two kitties though a friend of my husband.  The cats are a brother and sister duo, a year and a half old, and all black.  They did originally come with the names Blackie & Jackie, but we have renamed them to make them are own.  My husband dubbed the boy, Zelenka.  I am certain that my husband thinks of himself as McKay, and just wants the opportunity to blame Zelenka for things that go wrong around the house.  I decided to stick with the Stargate Atlantis theme, and named the girl Keller.

The new kitties are adapting fairly well to their new home.  We have limited the amount of rooms they can explore for now, just to make it easier for us to find them each day.  I have gotten the basic equipment needed:  food bowls, food, litter box, litter, pooper scooper, etc.  I still have a list of things that I need to buy yet:  cat scratcher, carrier, collars, ID tags, grooming kit, etc.  I have gotten into the routine of feeding them each morning when I get up and each evening when I get home from work.  I am a little worried that Zelenka is eating Keller’s share of food though.  I clean the litter box daily in the morning and am thankful they are already litter-trained.  After work each day, I spend some time cuddling and playing with the kitties.  I am thrilled that they both come running into the room for attention when I get home.

My husband is not adapting to the cats as well as they are adapting to us.  The cats seem to like him, particularly Zelenka.  He says he is indifferent to the cats, but I think he is miserable.  His allergies have hit him hard since they arrived.  His eyes are really red and puffy.  He breaks out into little tiny hives if one of the cats rubs against him.  He claims that he will get used to them in a month or so, and that Benadryl will work for now.  He says that my being happy is more important to him than the adjustment period.  Part of me feels like he should have told me no when I said I wanted cats.  Part of me thinks we should get rid of them now before they have become ensconced in our home.  Part of me wants to just wait and see what happens, because I really want cats.

What do you think?  Enjoy the new kitties or call the adoption lady to take them back because it is not fair to my husband?

See you next week!