I know I just made the title very exciting, but the reality
really is not as fun as the headline implies.
My husband is away for the week on a business trip. This is the second one in a month, and it
seems likely he will be going on another next month. He does not actually travel that much for
work, but I usually get three or four weeks a year to myself. So what does a wife do when she is all on her
own? No, I am not having wild parties
and passionate affairs, but I do the things that I cannot enjoy (at least not
as much) when he is around.
First, I love having more time to myself in the mornings and
evenings. Although I love my husband, he
seems to eat up large chunks of my time.
Some of this is used just being with him, often doing things I would not
do on my own. I watch TV shows that I
would not normally watch, I talk about politics way more than I want, I let him
lecture me on scientific theories I do not understand, I go to shows that do
not interest me, and I visit with friends, some of whom I do not like that
much, just so he will be happy. I am not
complaining about these things really, because I love him and I want to make
him happy. But without him here, I do
not have to put any time into them at all and this frees up hours of evening
space. The other chunk of time comes
from not having to do the little things that pop up because of him. I only have to make one lunch in the morning
instead of two. I can get up a little
later because I do not have to maneuver my bathroom time around his morning
routine. I can microwave a dinner
without feeling as if I am cheating him out of a full meal. I create half the dishes, so I do not have to
do them as often. I am free to fill my
time with things that make me happy, like reading quietly for hours or watching
Law & Order marathons.
Second, I am enjoying blissful quiet. My husband has ADHD and seems to crave chaos
all around him all the time. I, on the
other hand, enjoy moments of quiet solitude without the need for all that
noise. In fact, I often feel
overstimulated and overwhelmed by the volume he creates in our house. I do not like to have music playing all the
time. I do not need to have video games
emitting explosions and fighting noises to feel entertained. I never turn on the TV the moment I walk
through the door just to have it playing in the background. In fact it has only been on for 45 minutes
while I watched one Law & Order episode since he has been gone. Right now, I am sitting in the kitchen
listening to the white noise of the air conditioner and the song of the night
playing outside my window. I can think
better, can be more creative, and can produce more work when I am not fighting
with a dozen things competing for my attention.
Third, I am enjoying a change in diet. I almost always change my diet when he goes
away, but I do not always change it in the same way. Sometimes, I feel the pleasure of just
stocking up on microwavable things that do not require any effort. Those kind of simple meals are perfectly
acceptable to me, but are not big enough to satisfy him. He is a meat and potatoes type of person,
while I am happy as a chicken patty person.
Sometimes, I eat things that he does not like. I can order pizza with tons of veggies and no
meat if I want it. I can eat mac &
cheese and tuna out of a can without any comments about the smell. I can make beef stroganoff which he told me
to never make him, practically on our first date. Sometimes I pig out in an epic manor. I eat things that are very unhealthy and in
much bigger quantities than I really should.
However, no one is here to see me do it and so I do not have to feel
ashamed about the gluttony. Plus, I do
not have to share which makes it all the more tempting. I hate it when I bring home a delicious
something only to feel like I did not get my fill because he has eaten it all
before I could. This time has been
mostly of third variety. I have had
almost all take out and in way larger quantities than I normally allow myself
to indulge (that bathroom scale is not my friend this week).
Finally, I love having the bed all to myself at night. It usually takes me a day or so to adjust to
him not being in the house. Although I have
experience being on my own, I am so used to him being here that I am not really
adapted to the noises of the house settling around us and the neighbors on either
side. So I get a little jumpy by the
unfamiliar bumps and creaks, especially at night when I am just drifting off to
sleep. Once I get used to it though, I
love having the room all to myself. I
can sprawl out on the bed in any fashion I want without bumping into him. I can have as many or as few blankets on the
bed as I want. I can open the window to
let in the cool night air. No one tries
to hug me or hold on to me while I am sleeping.
No one wakes me up in the middle of the night by making trips to the
bathroom. No one plays Youtube videos
all night because they need noise to sleep.
No one snores! I sleep much
better when he is not here (after the first night or two anyway). So much so, that I often think about having
separate bedrooms on a permanent basis, but so far I have not been brave enough
to make the request.
There they are, my reasons for loving his business trips. I do miss him being here, and I do not want
him to go away permanently. I will be
ready for him to return at the end of this week. For now though, I will enjoy my week off from
married life. While my husband is out, I
do indeed play. It might not be as exciting
as what some other women might do with their freedom, but I enjoy every minute
of it.
See you next week!
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