Wednesday, June 8, 2016

I Wish I Could Quit You (Facebook)

I have a confession to make.  I hate Facebook.  Every day, I consider deactivating my account.  So far I have resisted, but it is so tempting.  There are only a couple reasons I do not disconnect.  One is that most of my family uses this as a contacting and planning platform.  If I want to know about picnics, events, occasions, etc., I feel the need to stay connected.  Also, I use it as a backup messenger for chatting with my friends when AIM stops working, which is unfortunately happening more and more frequently.  Even with these two uses though, I am considering just pulling the plug and finding other ways to keep in contact (like texting or *gasp* actually talking to people).

There are three major reasons that I want to pull away from Facebook.  The first of these is that it is one of my biggest time-wasters.  I have almost two hundred people on my friends list, and together they fill my newsfeed with enough stuff to take up hours of my time.  While I have very little against any specific type of post, when multiplied by hundreds they all become annoying and overwhelming.  There are too many pictures of cute kids to view, too many announcements to acknowledge, too many quizzes to take, too many political debates to consider, and too many memes to find amusing.  Sometimes it is nice to know what is happening with the various people I know (and I do actually know on some level 99.9% of my friends list), but the truth is most of the posts have little impact on my day-to-day life.  I have tried unfollowing almost everyone, leaving only family and close friends, but it still provides enough newsfeed activity to eat away all my time.  Plus, Facebook advertising just keeps getting more prominent the longer it exists.

The second reason I dislike Facebook is that it makes me feel left out of things and disgruntled.  There are two ways this manifests itself.  For one, people I know have events or do things together, and my first thought is why was I not invited.  It does not matter how much or little I hang out with the people involved, where they are located, or whether I have even expressed interest in whatever it is.  Logically, I know that my friends and family do things without me all the time, and that this is a perfectly reasonable thing to do.  I still cannot help feeling slighted when I see pictures or comments of the fun though.  The other way this affects me is envy over personal accomplishments.  People of course highlight their achievements, promotions, awards, special gifts, awesome vacations, etc.  This leaves me with a feeling that nothing good ever happens to me.  Again, my rational brain knows that people post more of the good than the bad/mundane.  Also, this is a compilation of good across many people, not one person who has an extraordinary life.  Yet, I cannot help feeling like life passes me by as I trudge through another day at work while everyone else is enjoying it.

The final reason I want to quit Facebook is that it fosters an unhealthy attachment to people who are not that relevant to my life.  I find myself looking for updates on situations or digging for more information on people when I should not be that involved.  For example, I have one of my high school crushes on my friends list.  I saw him about six years ago at my high school reunion, and since then I have found myself hyper-aware of his Facebook activity.  He was extremely nice to me at the reunion, but he never made any attempt to contact me afterward.  Given that I live six hours away and have married someone else (reunion was prior to my meeting my now husband), I think it unlikely there will be any relationship established in the future.  Yet, I am entirely too concerned with what he is doing and even more so when it is with his new girlfriend.  Another example is a woman, also known from high school, who lives reasonably close and who shares a lot of similar interests to me.  I watch her posts feeling like we are close personal friends, but truthfully we are not.  Since she does live fairly close, I have attempted to invite her to a few things, but she always turns me down.  Clearly, the distance is still too far for her, or she is just not interested in being more friendly.  And yet, when I see her Facebook contributions all I can think is why are we not better friends and end up stalking/liking all her posts.

What about you?  Can you relate to any of these concerns?  Do you have any suggestions on how to make it better?  Should I just deactivate my account?  I really think it might be time for me to pull the plug on it.  It will free up time for other things (blogs, reading, writing, cleaning, talking to people in real life).  Plus, I think it will make me happier in the long run to focus on doing things myself, not watching what other people are doing.


See you next week!

No comments:

Post a Comment